The past few years of LDI have given me an opportunity to confront a lot of my own interpersonal issues (usually centered around my pride of course).  And being in leadership, I also am on the receiving end of many of these same issues.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned:  Give your leaders the opportunity to respond (especially to say “no”).  I honestly have been terrible at this, which is bad because it is respectful and enables them to do their job without me bringing unnecessary social pressure.  Note that I am using “leader” generically, this person could be your manager, boss, teacher, pastor, parent, small group leader, etc.

What’s this look like?  A few examples with some guiding rules:

1)  I asked one of my leaders to do something through e-mail, CC’ing the person who would execute on that.  I then realize that there’s a process I need to go through that will take time.  Now that leader is put into a position to respond both to me and that other person.
Rule:  Do not CC other people when asking your leader something via e-mail.

2)  I wanted one of my leaders to change a scheduled item and asked others about the change before talking to my leader.  In effect, I was “gathering support”.  Again, this puts the leader in a hard place with everyone else I’ve talked to.
Rule:  Do not “lobby” for support for your ideas before running them by your leader.

3)  I put one of my leaders on the spot to make a decision during a class time.
Rule:  Bring things up in private!

4)  I responded to something my leader sent out via e-mail, pointing out that person’s error while CC’ing everyone else.  Turns out I overreacted and misunderstood that person’s heart behind the matter.
Rule:  Bring accusations, complaints, concerns directly to your leader, preferably in person and not in e-mail.

(Note, I am assuming a reasonable relationship and available communication with your leader. There are of course other circumstances that would affect the aforementioned rules)