I love telling my testimony.  I think it is so cool to think about how much I rejected God in every way and pursued my own “happiness” through drinking, drugs, sex,  and success; and yet in His sovereign grace God saved me from my pitiful rebellion and brought me to a much better and more joyful life. 

We have friends who say they have an “uninteresting” (their words) testimony.  They grew up in a Christian home, came to know Jesus at a young age, didn’t date until they were ready, kept themselves from drugs and alcohol, and married their true love.

Uninteresting??  Pshaw!  That’s exciting!  It is encouraging to hear about how God has blessed His people and kept them from falling into sin!  It is encouraging to hear how God blesses faithful parents with faithful children!  It is amazing to hear that there are those who resisted the temptations of the world and of sin.  That’s not ordinary, that’s special!

We hope that Luke’s testimony will be:  ”I grew up in a Christian home.  I came to know Jesus at a young age.  I learned from my parent’s mistakes.  I always kept Jesus #1 and kept myself away from sex, drugs, and alcohol.   I saved myself until I married my true love, who also loves Jesus.  I always sought God’s will and prayed that His will be done.”

 Lord, we eagerly pray that this would be so!!!

Luke in his tub

I had the most wonderful thought the other day while I was washing out one of Luke’s very nasty poopie diapers in the toilet….. “You never know who’s poopie diapers you are washing!”  He could be anyone!  He could be… oh wow who is he??  How the Lord encourages His servant!  Who’d have thought I would be so jazzed to be a mom while wrist-deep in toilet water!

Bernie Madoff robbed thousands of their life savings with his investment ponzi scheme (see NY Times article)

He pleaded guilty and is going to prison.  They are now trying to seize his assets.

Chuck asked me how Christians should respond to this.  My thoughts.  We should:

1) Further acknowledge the power of sin in this world. Sin is real and fuels most of our society.  It has a strong hand in your life and mine.  Not acknowledging the power of evil and sin is the first step to failure.  These sinful events should turn us to our need for Jesus and bring us to tears over how broken mankind is without Jesus’ salvation.  This should bring us to look forward to His coming kingdom and to pray eagerly for the redemption of this world.

2)  Pray for Madoff. The articles indicate that he feels bad for what he’s done.  Pray that this would turn him to repent of his sin before our Almighty God and ask for much needed salvation.  Pray for him to seek Christ’s forgiveness.

3)  Pray for his victims. Many (but probably not all) of the victims fell into the schemes because of their own greed.  They saw what Madoff promised and coveted it.  Jesus said we cannot serve both God and money (Matt 6:24).  Pray that these people will repent of their greed (which is idolatry) and will recognize the fruitlessness of trusting in their riches.  Pray that they would instead trust in the faithfulness of Jesus and would desire to work for treasure in heaven.

4)  Pray for God to weed out other injustices in America and to allow his goodness to cast light onto darkness.

5)  Forgive Madoff and others. Christ has paid a debt infinitely large for our forgiveness.  Likewise, we are to go out and forgive those who sin against us or who sin against our nation.  It doesn’t mean be friendly to them but rather offering them grace by acknowledging that God loves that person and eagerly desires to see that person repent and embrace His love.

6)  Check ourselves. Are we falling into schemes because of greed?  Are we trusting in something other than Jesus?  Are we stealing from others (be it a person or a corporation or the government) for our own self-benefit?  If so, we need to repent and confess our sin to Jesus.  John writes “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

John Piper also wrote about Madoff on the Desiring God blog:
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1684_bernard_madoff_how_are_the_mighty_fallen/

Luke loves peek-a-boo. This is clear evidence that children imitate what you do! Luke initiated the game with Kaelin yesterday as she was folding laundry. Yes that’s a cloth diaper.

I’ve been a Christian now almost two and a half years. I’ve seen God radically transform me – a helpless, arrogant, lustful, drug and alcohol addicted, self-centered, God-hater – into someone who knows and loves Jesus. I’ve seen God radically answer prayer (like how he gave us a place to live, see the video). I’ve seen God heal people. I’ve heard God’s voice clearly tell me things I would have never known otherwise. I’ve witnessed God’s amazing provision for us, especially through our honeymoon and through LDI. I’m a witness to Christ’s amazing power.

And yet, I still get overwhelmed with doubt. Not every day. Most days I am hopeful and joyful. But at times – like last night – I am just struck down by doubt.

What do I doubt?

1) I doubt that God is willing to give us good things. I fall into fearing that life will be unending pain and affliction without any joy (which this last month has felt like at times). Despite that “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom 8:28) and “The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness” (1 Sam 26:23). This also shows clearly that I am valuing earthly things over my heavenly rewards, meaning I am not really seeing the true value of an infinite eternity over this finite existance.

2) I doubt that God is willing or able to work through me. I get so overcome by my faults and failures that I cannot see how God could use anyone like me. Clearly I fail to see how God used Peter – who denied Jesus publically – or Paul – who murdered Jesus’ followers before coming to know Jesus himself.

3) I doubt that my life will have any significance or value. This comes out of my pride, of wanting earnestly to be used purposefully and mightily by God. The desire is not sinful, but the doubt stemming from that desire is. I fail to realize that my value is not contingent on anything I do, but is in Christ.

Should I be doubtful? No, clearly not. I have so much to hope for and God has shown Himself to be faithful. It really is sin for me to indulge in doubt. But it is something I struggle with. And given the number of times hope is mentioned in the New Testament, I think its fair to say lots of other Christians do as well. I pray that the Lord will help me always keep this in mind:

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)

I’m a 7 month old today!!

Still loving the worship music at church.

Worshipping with Dad

And trying lots of different healthy foods. I don’t think I’m too keen on avacados yet, though. Keep tryin’ Mom!

The heart grows fonder
When words like water
Out of our mouths do flow

When we voice our affections
And seek your directions
A seed in our hearts we do sow

And that seed doth blossom
Into something awesome
and the love of Christ we shall know

– Paul Ireland (Something I wrote in the shower this week)

In response to this poem, a friend of mine asked what the purpose of prayer is. Here’s my answer:

Jesus gave us a model of prayer in the Lord’s prayer (Matt 6:9-13). Here are some observations I threw together that reflect the purpose of prayer in our lives:

7 ?And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

1) Prayer is NOT using God like a vending machine. Rather, it is asking Daddy for something you want or need. He already knows what we need, so prayer is much more for us than Him! We need to read the rest of this prayer through the lens of saying these words to do something IN us.

9 Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

2) Humble acknowledgment of our position before a Holy God. All worship starts here.

10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

3) Conforming our heart and will to God’s (see also Jesus? prayer in the garden Matt 26:36-46)

11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

4) Enable us to more clearly see God’s grace at work in our lives

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

5) Again recognizing our need for God and our desire for His goodness rather than evil. This opens us up to witness God move powerfully in our lives by answering prayer

If you want to learn more about prayer, Mark Driscoll’s “Pray like Jesus” series is superb! http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/pray-like-jesus

Have you been sick this winter? Have you thought about taking care of your sickness as a spiritual discipline?

This is something I have felt very convicted about and I do hope God uses this in your life.

We all know that Jesus sums up the Law and the Prophets with “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:34-40). What you may not remember is that a chunk of the Law tells the sick Israelites to remove themselves from the camp and to not return until their infectious disease has gone away (Num. 5:1-3, cf. Lev. 13-14).

And I understand why they had this commandment. I had a friend a few years back who came into work terribly sick but still walked around, talked with people, went out to lunch, etc. Everyone in the office got sick. Dozens of people had to take sick days. I was out for almost a week, incredibly ill. One person literally brought the whole department to a standstill. One person can bring sickness to whole families, companies, churches, or, as in the case of Israel, potentially whole nations. And maybe its not something terrible, but a simple cold adds a huge amount of stress on people, especially people with kids!

So the question is, are you being loving when you show up sick to work, school, small group, church, community service, or family events? Are you being loving when you don’t wash your hands and use the door knob, when you cough on your hands and touch other people’s babies, or when you shake hands with someone right after blowing your nose?

Are you believing that what you personally gain from being somewhere outweighs the affliction other people endure by getting sick? Do you make excuses about how you’re probably not contagious or everyone probably has had it already anyway?

Now, I understand there are limits with your work or with school that you might just have to go through. I was incredibly ill during finals my first semester of my senior year, but I had to go anyway. And sometimes you can’t take a sick day (especially stay at home moms!). I know how it goes! But what about all those days you don’t HAVE to be somewhere. What about all those days you could have rested but chose to continue life as normal? Are you living those days seeking to love others… maybe by staying away from them?

I got the perfect gift…

And had a blast at Emma’s 2nd birthday party last weekend. Once I figured out how to grasp onto the balloons, I didn’t want to let this one go!

Here’s a pretty funny picture of the birthday girl and her brother and me. And the mommies. Dad called this the Record Cover photo, as everyone is looking in different directions

Well it was finally my turn this last Sunday. Yep, to the ER we went. I had been having stomach pains for a couple weeks and Sunday was my worst episode yet. I couldn’t go to church and we had to cancel our poor small group again! We thought it might be something really bad so we just went.

Joanne prayed over us

While we waited in our room Joanne came in to register us and take our insurance info. She asked me who my employer was and I said, “God, and my husband.” She smirked and said, “being a mom is one of the hardest, most important jobs there is.” “Thank you for saying!” I said. Then she asked what my husband’s name was and I said, “Paul, like the apostle.” Again she smirked and said, “I was just doing a homework assignment about him.” This led into a wonderful conversation about God. She told us that she didn’t believe in cooincidences. I told her about my midwife, how I’d just set up an appointment to see a midwife and ended up getting a believer, who was such a blessing to me. To that, she laughed and said, “I work in the health industry, trust me that is no cooincidence!”

She asked if she could pray over us before she left the room! She prayed for our ministry, my health and God’s love and protection. God never ceases to remind us that He is in control and has “divine appointments” for us in the most unlikely of places.

My Kingdom vocabulary dropping didn’t seem to work on the next employee, however. I winced as she drew FOUR viles of blood (yes, I am still alive) and told her I was just trying to think about Jesus on the cross! I don’t think she was with me.

I had some great company, too.

My sweet family

All the nurses kept saying how cute Luke was, and that he looked like a Gerber Baby. He was quite content there and he even got to go in with Paul and me to get my ultrasound. He thought it was really funny to grab all the medical devices and eat his shoes.

I was also swooned by the skill of my amazing husband, who brought us to the ER, took care of Luke AND contacted our small group and guided them through their discussion for the evening. Did I get a man of God or what???

Oh yeah, and I am ok. Just acid reflux, they say. My stomach still hurts and I was up for an hour in the middle of the night with it last night, too. But I am taking my MyLanta and some ParaZyme that Paul’s mom Shell sent. I think it just needs to heal. I hope.